Frigid Dining

Lately I’ve been rubbernecking Architectural Digest. It’s not that the photos aren’t glamorous. It’s–well, just look.

These are from a series of “Before + After: Stunning Dining Room Makeovers.”

The “before” photos are predictably stodgy, dated and bland. The “after” photos are stunning all right. They make me want to jam needles under my fingernails.

It’s like the season trend is “Corporate Formal meets Frozen.”

And they’re ALL LIKE THAT.

When I look at those shiny shiny surfaces, all I can think of is slipping in stiletto heels and gashing my head open on the edge of that table. When I look at those icy chandeliers, I look around for a fur bathrobe.

When I think about eating dinner in these rooms, I lose my appetite.

And that’s why “stunning” isn’t necessarily a good index for designing rooms that people actually want to live in. It may be arresting to the eye. But how do you FEEL when you’re IN there?

Are you paranoid that you’re going to spill red wine all over that white wool carpet?

Me, too.

You know what I LOVE? Brooklyn designer Matt Austin.

This is his Bushwick apartment, painted with a “halo to give him golden dreams.”

You want to hang out there, so you can have golden dreams, too.

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

More to Read

Eccentric Genius Habitat Intervention

Are you an eccentric genius?

You’re in the right place, darling.

In this free e-course, you will discover:

The ONE design mistake that NEARLY ALL HUMANS make in their habitats, and how to fix it in 15 minutes. (You will roll your eyes. And cry.)

Three senses your kindergarten teacher didn’t mention. (And how they make you a NINJA.)

The design trend which created an epidemic of shut-ins. (NOT COVID-19. Some of us now know the meaning of schadenfreude.)

Why Febreze is EVIL. (There should be a warning label.)

What kinds of light fixtures will be BANNED when the establishment comes to its senses.

What color has to do with hormones. (And how to leverage it–St. John’s Wort, piffle!)

What NEVER to do, ever ever, if you do not wish to induce psychosis, extreme depression, vertigo, or actual regurgitation in guests and members of your own family. (We all love those Bad Examples.)

Practical Sanctuary, Sensory Interior Design

Practical Sanctuary, sensory interior design, specializes in interior design for highly sensitive people.
We help you create spaces which are: